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LIFE DESIGNS MONTHLY

WHY NOT YOU? THIS IS YOUR LIFE!
CREATE THE REMARKABLE LIFE YOU'VE BEEN LONGING FOR

JUNE, 2006
Table of Contents:
~ A Welcome from Norman Tonelli, L.M.H.C.
~ Article – Self-Improvement
~ Center Services

Support Groups

Testing

Occupational Therapy
~ Questions and Answers
~ Monthly Exercise

 

Welcome to the latest edition of our monthly newsletter. I would like to thank all of you who attended our first annual Family Day/ Music Festival on May 21st. The day was even more fun and successful than I anticipated. The music was played by about 15 individuals ranging from ages 3 to 85. The food was great and the games and crafts for the kids were perfect. Next year, we'll have a bigger tent and even more food and crafts. The musicians involved will likely grow also.

Thanks to Ami Grandone for her supplying and running the sound system. Thanks to Amy and Theresa for the great kids activities; Brenda for help in almost every aspect of the day (although she refused to sing a note). And a special thanks to The Murgo's for the great food and bringing a little more Italianism to the Brookfields. And a very special thanks to my wife Nicky for not once complaining about the price of the whole day!

 

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~ Article ~

SELF-IMPROVEMENT

By Dr. John C. Maxwell

 

Did you make any New Year's resolutions this year? More importantly, have you kept them?

I once heard an amazing statistic about such annual goals: 91 million Americans make a New Year's resolution each year, and—here's the startling part—70 million of them break those commitments by the end of the first week. I can't point to a scientific study that explains why so many people fail in this regard. But if I had to make an educated guess, I'd say it has something to do with the measurability—or lack thereof—of the resolutions. Let's say your goal is to read more books about leadership and career development this year. Which resolution are you more likely to keep: "I'm going to read more this year than I read last year," or "I'm going to read two chapters every day"?

When you attach a measurement to an intention, you're not just blindly shooting for some ambiguous goal. You have a real way to gauge your progress, which makes it much more likely that you will actually have some progress to gauge. This is a key principle to remember as you start tackling the self-improvement projects I talked about in the last issue of Leadership Wired. You cannot manage what you cannot measure. If growth in a certain area is essential to your success, you have to find a way to measure your improvement in that area. Otherwise, you won't improve.

Here are six other insights about improvement that will help you to develop—and stick to—a blueprint for your own personal growth.

1. Set realistic expectations for your improvement.
Ian MacGregor says, "I work on the same principle as people who train horses. You start with low fences, easily achieved goals, and you work up. It is important in management never to ask people to try to accomplish goals they can't accept." In other words, set realistic expectations for yourself. Think about what you can tackle in a day, because whatever you tackle today, you also need to tackle tomorrow and the next day.

2. Continual change is essential for continual improvement.
This is one of the great paradoxes of success: The things which got you there are seldom the things which keep you there. There's no way around it. If you want to improve, you have to change.

3. Motivation gets you started; habits keep you going.
You can only stay fired up about working out at 5 a.m. (or learning to speak German, or teaching yourself how to build an internet site, or whatever you're working on) for so long. After the novelty wears off, the daily discipline you established early in the process will spur you to continue.

4. We overestimate what we can do in a month, and we underestimate what we can do in a year.
As a society, we are infatuated with big and fast. We're always looking for a shortcut or a quicker way. But as anyone who has ever lost weight and kept it off will tell you, the improvements made over time are the ones that last.

5. Focus.
Notice what well-known psychologist William James said about this: "If you would be rich, you will be rich; and if you would be good, you will be good; and if you would be learned, you will be learned. But wish for one thing exclusively, and don't at the same time wish for a hundred other incompatible things just as strongly." His point? You can't achieve everything. You have to decide what is most important, and focus on that.

6. Spend 80 percent of your time working on your strengths.
As I often say, people don't pay for average. Rather than trying to improve weak skills, devote most of your energy to developing your gifts and abilities. This might sound like a strange bit of advice, but think about it. If, on a scale of one to ten, your marketing abilities are about a two, hard work might bring you up to a five, but that's still average. If you want to succeed, you must figure out what your strengths are and grow in those areas. (When I talk about strengths and weaknesses, I'm referring to skills. Two weaknesses that must be addressed are a lack of self-discipline and a bad attitude. You could have all the skills in the world, but if you have a poor attitude or you lack self-discipline, you will literally sabotage yourself.)

Finally, as you formulate your strategy for self-improvement and begin to work on areas that need refinement (or perhaps even a complete overhaul), ask this question continually: Is what I am doing today getting me closer to my goal tomorrow? If so, you're on the right track. If not, there's no time like the present to regroup and start moving in the right direction once again.

 

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~ Advertisement ~

SOCIAL SKILLS TRAINING FOR CHILDREN

These group experiences will teach your child to get along better with their peers and more effectively communicate with parents, teachers and other authority figures. They will also learn to understand all forms of communication such as gestures, body language, voice inflections, and figures of speech.

NEW GROUPS NOW FORMING STARTING IN JULY FOR:

K – 6^TH GRADES

7^TH – 12^TH GRADES

CALL NORMAN TONELLI @ (508) 867-4451 FOR DAYS, TIME AND COST INFORMATION

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TESTING SERVICES NOW OFFERED

Do you have a child that has attention/concentration issues?

Do you suspect your child has memory or learning disabilities?

We are happy to announce that we are offering on-site educational, psychological and neuro-psychological testing by Mark D. Caron, Ph.D. He will be able to test your child and provide you with a detailed evaluation so that you can obtain the proper services to help your child succeed.

We also offer an educational support group for parents of children with attention and concentration issues that meet every other week.

Call Dr. Caron for more information or to set up an appointment at

(508) 867-4491

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Occupational Therapy

We are now offering Occupational Therapy in our office, providing meaningful activities to help promote a child’s development and well-being by developing and restoring important motor, social and cognitive skills. Anyone interested in receiving short or long term services for their child, please call Amy O’Coin, Certified Occupational Therapist, to get additional information or schedule appointments.

 

Amy O’Coin is currently accepting Mass Health and Harvard Pilgrim Insurance.

Fallon and Blue Cross are pending and should be finalized soon.

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~Client Questions and Answers~

Question: Dear Norman: Do you feel that group therapy is as effective as individual counseling? – Mary H.

Answer: Dear Mary: Group therapy offers some things that individual doesn't and visa versa. In a group, the client has the opportunity to share his or her concerns and problems with others who may be dealing with the same problems. This is not so readily available in an individual setting. The therapist also has the advantage of seeing their client interacting with others in a way that is obviously impossible in individual therapy. This vantage point can give the therapist very important observational info about the client. On the other hand, individual counseling can often offer the person a much more in-depth personalized focus on the core issues in the client's life. The presence of just the client and therapist in the room, rather than a multitude of others, can also offer a less threatening atmosphere for the client.

Question: Dear Norman: Why would a child need occupational therapy? – Bob S.

Answer: Hi Bob: Children who may need occupational therapy often present signs such as lack of attention, frustration, trouble organizing and completing tasks, falling and stumbling often, or handwriting difficulties seen in school. At home these children may have difficulties with getting dressed, keeping their personal things together, and interacting with other children. These may be caused but are not limited to developmental impairments, disease process and/or environmental barriers.

Question: Dear Norman: My child is autistic. Would a social skills training group be appropriate for him? – Larry T.

Answer: Dear Larry: Social skills groups are generally very helpful for children with problems such as social shyness, nonverbal learning disabilities, Asperger’s syndrome, or those in need of a sort of social based self-esteem program. It's my opinion that traditional social skills groups are not helpful for children who are fully autistic. The material covered and the self-control that is needed are both too challenging for these individuals.

 

Email Norman at: Norman@normantonelli.com with questions you would like answered.

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~Exercise For The Month~

Do find a self-improvement program that seems interesting and practical. Go to any bookstore or search online for a book or an audio book that will get you involved in an organized way to set and achieve self-improvement goals.

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In addition to this monthly newsletter, you can find a variety of other information, including upcoming events at my websites:
www.normantonelli.com and www.parentleader.net

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We love to hear from you!
Please give your feedback to: Norman@normantonelli.com Thanks.
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All rights reserved. (c) 2006 Norman Tonelli L.M.H.C.

 

 

 

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