Living The Constructive Life

By: Norman Tonelli, L.M.H.C.

At any given moment of your life you can choose to focus on the destination that you intend to reach, or the things that stand in your way. Stop and think for a moment. Ponder all of the wasted time that you have spent hashing and rehashing the frustrations, slights, worries, regrets, mistreatments, disrespects, misunderstandings, criticisms, fears and awful possibilities that you have encountered in your life. How much time has this stolen from your life?

Believe it or not, It is entirely possible to diminish the terrible grip that this negative habit has on your life. Let’s take a closer look at this phenomenon. There seems to be only two categories of reality that we are faced with every moment of our lives. First, the intended direction or outcome that you wish. Second, the negative limitations, forces or restrictions that stand in your way. Today you have things to do, people to meet, tasks to perform and goals to pursue. These activities or intentions will invariably meet with some resistance or challenges. You will be faced with two possible points of focus throughout the day. Either you will be looking at the ways to get these intentions met or you will be looking at the things that stand in your way. Now, of course an understanding of what the impediments are is necessary to move around them. However once you see them and find your way around them, you must spend the majority of time actually moving towards your intended destination. At this point you are experiencing the phenomenon of being constructive.

Experiment with this as you go along your day. Try to observe yourself regularly. Ask your self at any given time if you are concentrating on the outcome that you intend or the "stones" in your way, so to speak. Every moment that you are attending to the stones, you are not moving towards your target. Try to measure the actual percentage of time you waste thinking about anything but where you want to go. I've actually used this awareness to get an edge on others in a competitive situation. Even when I don't have the talent or abilities of my competitor, while they're spending time not thinking or planning about the "game," I am. My exponentially more compressed time spent thinking and planning more than makes up for the "talent" that I may be lacking.

Why spend the all too short life that we are given burying ourselves in an unnecessary amount of focus on un-constructive things. They never matter. They are life wasters. Try it on for size. Attempt to constantly improve your percentage of constructive thinking and living. This mindset, once it becomes a habit will change your life, the lives of those around you, and maybe the world!

 

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