Kids Long For Leaders

By: Norman Tonelli, L.M.H.C.

 

Think back to your childhood for a moment.  Whether you were a boy or girl, it makes no difference.  Isn’t it true that the most influential kid in the group was also the strongest, most confident, decisive kid in the group?  Anywhere you look, you will see that people consistently follow those who are stronger than they are.  The lure is natural.  It’s biological.  It’s hierarchical. 

 

Your child is no different than the above example.  You need to be that stronger person.  What exactly does the stronger individual have that compels the weaker one to follow him?  Well, whenever two or more people encounter each other, the individual that has the clearest vision, and is the most decisive, will be the leader or the “stimulus”, while the other is the “response”.   In other words, Clarity + decision = power.

 

My experiences as an inner city Italian kid showed me time after time that those who were decisive and knew clearly where they stood and were unwavering in their insistence, were simply always the leaders.  They set the trend and called the shots.  Everyone wanted to be that kind of guy.  He was always the most respected, the most influential, and always the trendsetter.  These experiences taught me a lot about leadership and that ones conviction and belief in oneself was in fact the main ingredient to being a strong leader. 

 

How you may ask does an experience like this translate to parental leadership?  As a parent, you must be strong when directing and influencing your child.  Strength is the end product of a clear vision of what you expect of your child, coupled with decisiveness and unwavering commitment to your directives.  Master these leadership principles and you can’t fail. 

 

I’ve always been intrigued by the teachings that the animal kingdom presents us over and over.  Watching some of the animal shows on TV will show you that stronger animals are immediately the pack leaders while the other animals naturally follow and defer to the stronger ones.  This phenomenon also exists in the world of people.  Again, it’s everywhere in nature.  Why don’t you try to take advantage of this indisputable reality when leading your children?  They will follow the lead of who are STRONGER.  Be the strength that they will defer to.  The wonderful added feature of this practice is that you will be simultaneously role- modeling positive power and leadership.  Your child will likely learn this parenting skill, thus making him a better parent some day.

 

 Grab a hold of the law that already exists in nature.  Take advantage of something that is hard wired in the very essence of all that we are.  Be strong, clear and insistent when leading your child.  They will follow your lead, the lead of someone who loves them more than anyone in the world… Someone who knows where they’re going…  Someone who is decisive and confident.

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